When trust is present, things go well but when trust is lost, the relationship is at risk. One dictionary definition of trust is “feeling safe when vulnerable.” When we depend on a leader, family member or friend, we can feel vulnerable, and we need trust to manage the anxiety of this feeling. When trust is intact, we will willingly contribute what is needed, not just by offering our presence, but also by sharing our dedication, talent, energy and honest thoughts on how the relationship or group is working. On the positive side, trust makes people feel eager to be part of a relationship or group, with a shared purpose and a willingness to depend on each other. And those who have done something to lose our trust may not even know it.
This loss of trust can be obvious or somewhat hidden - especially if we pretend to be present but inwardly disengage. As a result, we pull back from that person and no longer feel part of their world. We may not show it outwardly, but we are less likely to tell the formerly trusted person that we are upset, to share what is important to us or to follow through on commitments. We go on an internal strike, not wanting to be sympathetic to the person who we feel has hurt us or treated us wrongly. When that happens, we withdraw our energy and level of engagement. Trust is hard to define, but we do know when it’s lost. That’s why we need to trust our leaders, our family members, our friends and our co-workers, albeit in different ways. Trust in a leader allows organizations and communities to flourish, while the absence of trust can cause fragmentation, conflict and even war.
Its presence cements relationships by allowing people to live and work together, feel safe and belong to a group. The one that’s the glue of society is called trust. There are just a few elemental forces that hold our world together.
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